Begining

I am going to start writing to you even though you do not yet exist. I want you to know your story, hopefully it will help you find your way in the future. When your father and I got married we always told people we would have kids in 3-5 years. 3 years came and went, then so did 5. It is not that we did not want to have kids just that we were not ready yet. He wanted to finish school I wanted my masters and tenure and there always seemed like a reason to wait... but now here I sit longing so much to hold you in my arms I could just burst. We have only been trying to conceive for a few months but it seems like forever. Your Aunt Abby is pregnant and I am happy for her but I am also filled with the green eyed monster, I want it to be my turn. Thoughts of you fill my mind, waking or sleeping little else seems of value or importance. So I am going to start writing to you. I guess I do not really know why, honestly it is probably more for me then you. A way to fill the empty void where you belong. I do not know you yet but I want you to know that I love you. I am sure you think that is impossible for me to know already but it’s true. Someday you will understand what I mean. But for now it is just enough to know I love you.